Yesterday I discussed L’Eroica, and at this time I got here throughout this:
L’Eroica? No, L’Intrepida!
A complete different classic trip? I had no thought there was a Shimano to L’Eroica’s Campagnolo. It has all of it, too: the hairnets, the handlebar mustaches, the tubular tire bras…
“Strung out and sweating?” Are they driving or present process heroin withdrawal? Additionally, in the event you’ll look intently this rider is utilizing [clutches tubular tire bra] DUAL-PIVOT BRAKES:
I seen it even earlier than his cockeyed proper foot–and I would add that as a classic footwear fanatic his fashionable sneakers additionally offended me. It might be why he’s having bother entering into his toe clip. I imply a few of us exit of our strategy to be as pretentious period-correct as potential:
I made a Poshmark account to purchase these for chrissakes!
However sure, if it’s a pre-1987 trip then the dual-pivot brake wouldn’t be kosher as these didn’t come out till, what, 1990 or so? Additionally, if nothing else, in the event you’re going to make use of non-aero brake levers, connecting them to a dual-pivot brake looks like a little bit of regardless of the Italian equal of a fake pas is.
And look, I do know it’s actually in regards to the spirit of the factor, and that it’s foolish to get hung up on dates and all that stuff, however what can I say? It’s disgusting and offensive and repugnant and shouldn’t be allowed. I definitely hope the Italian authorities cracks down on the trip and doesn’t permit it to run subsequent 12 months, as a result of that form of historic revisionism is downright harmful.
[Intern: Insert “Just Kidding” image here.]
And if all that wasn’t dangerous sufficient, the article badly mischaracterizes the Kestrel 4000:
“Japan’s Shimano company?!?” EGADS!!! I didn’t trip a Kestrel 4000 with a low gear of 42×21 by way of the mountains of Switzerland just for the mighty Vengeance Bike to be slandered like that:
Did I point out I did all of it with a low gear of 42×21?
As a result of I did:
Simply thought I’d point out that in case you forgot.
Anyway, all of that is to say I’d simply assumed that L’Eroica owned the idea of driving classic street bikes outright, and now I really feel like an fool for sending them a royalty each time I trip the Cervino. Actually, now that I do know it’s allowed, not solely am I going to chop their royalty funds in half, however I’m additionally pondering of beginning my very own classic trip. I’ve even received a reputation for it:
L’Irritabile
There gained’t be a strict date cutoff, because the trip will probably be extra about having enjoyable than anything, however in the event you present up with a pair of dual-pivot brakes so assist me I’ll kill you.
Then once more, does the world want yet one more classic trip the place everybody’s carrying wool and driving lugged metal bikes? Perhaps I’ll do a classic crabon trip as an alternative. I’ll name it “Il Giro di Dispetto,” and it’ll be an enormous vaffanculo to all of the individuals who predicted these bikes would have catastrophically failed by now. (Although it could be fairly ironic if all of them failed on the trip, which is why you’ll need to signal an iron-clad waiver. Sure, the waiver will probably be clad in iron–none of that crabon crap!) Or perhaps I’ll be much more particular and arrange a trip for Y-Foils solely:
Clearly I’d name that one the “Oglio Della Moglie.”
[Intern: go get me a sandwich. Also, go find an Italian and verify these translations.]
Talking of going again in time, keep in mind Rob Ford?
If you happen to don’t, he used to look repeatedly on the pages of this weblog (or at the least its predecessor), and right here’s the TLDR: he was the mayor of Toronto, he completely hated bike lanes, he had a keenness for crack, and he died in 2016. Effectively, little did I do know that his brother Doug is continuous the custom (of hating bike lanes, anyway, I don’t know in regards to the crack):
Firstly, what’s it with Canadians having brothers named Doug?
[Yes, my references are seriously dated. This is because I apply the L’Eroica concept to my prose.]
Secondly, that is simply disgusting:
“Taken a again seat!?!” I object to this car-centric language which may be very hurtful to cyclists, and I demand all municipal staff and journalists endure sensitivity coaching instantly. As of now the next “innocent” colloquialisms shall be deemed UNACCEPTABLE:
Take A Again Seat
As an alternative, say “drafting” or “wheelsucking”
Pump Your Brakes
That is offensive and othering to cyclists, who squeeze their brakes…although I suppose now that hydraulic disc brakes are taking on you may need to pump your brakes in the event you’ve received air within the traces
Pedal To The Metallic
Not solely don’t cyclists apply energy this fashion, however motorists colonized the phrase pedal from us. Sarcastically although we’re high-quality with throttles because of e-bikes, go determine, so simply say ” twist the throttle” or “interact the pedal help” as an alternative, I suppose
Disappearing In The Rear View Mirror
If you happen to should allude to a mirror, at the least specify a helmet mirror
Keep In Your Lane
This can be a reference to highways, that are racist, divide communities, and trigger local weather change. Additionally, cyclists can’t “keep of their lane” as a result of there’s normally a automobile in it. Say “get out of the bike lane” as an alternative.
And at last, talking of staying out of the bike lane and being aggrieved, one other bike owner has been despatched into “hurt’s method:”
Not solely was @NYPD78Pct parked within the bike lane (sending this bike owner into hurt’s method) however the officers did not ticket the illegally parked vans additional east (within the background). What’s up, @NYPDTransport? pic.twitter.com/X6h8XiwCNl
— Streetsblog New York (@StreetsblogNYC) October 28, 2024
Wow, appears terrifying. Maybe the rider would have a better time returning to the bike lane if there weren’t a photographer standing in it.
Sorry, I ought to in all probability keep in my lane.
