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DEAR ABBY: I helped a pal by giving her rides to and from work for 2 weeks whereas her automobile was being repaired. When she received her automobile again, she instructed me to let her know if she may ever repay the favour by serving to me.
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Just lately, my automobile wanted repairs, so I requested if I may money within the favour for a journey to and from work for just a few days. She replied that she may do this for me, however I ought to know she had already “paid the favour (owed to me) ahead” by serving to out one among her different buddies, so she felt she didn’t owe me a favour any longer. I additionally received the impression that, if she gave me rides to work, I’d owe her a brand new favour. I instructed her to overlook that I requested, and I’d discover one other option to get to work.
Is there some rule of etiquette that claims it’s best to inform somebody you might be “paying a favour ahead” and not owe them a favour? — ANNOYED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR ANNOYED: If there may be, that is the primary I’ve heard of it. The “pal” you describe is what they name a “bean counter,” or a “scorekeeper.” That is somebody who locations extreme emphasis on controlling issues, like expenditures, budgets and, in her case, relationships. People like which might be greatest prevented.
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DEAR ABBY: I usually marvel why males don’t care for his or her youngsters like girls do. In my lifetime, I’ve recognized just one man who modified diapers, did naps and baths, took children to daycare or college, attended most occasions within the little one’s life and was there for the kid 24 hours a day. (He’s the person I married.) Most males I do know assume all the above are the lady’s accountability alone, even when she works full time. I can solely assume it dates again to cavemen days or life on the prairie. — VALUED IN INDIANA
DEAR VALUED: Ideally, the tasks of kid care needs to be shared. You didn’t point out your age, however over the previous couple of many years I’ve been impressed to see fathers proudly carrying their infants in a sling or pushing them in strollers. In addition they take older youngsters out for a Sunday breakfast, to their sporting occasions in addition to to skilled sports activities occasions.
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I don’t know what their house lives are like, and neither do you, however they look like very a lot concerned of their youngsters’s lives. In many years previous, males thought that working lengthy hours to offer for his or her households was what they had been alleged to do, and subsequently had been much less hands-on than your husband.
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DEAR ABBY: A beloved pal and member of the family has a behavior of fixing the temperatures of meals that’s already being cooked by different folks. Is that this thought-about impolite? Is there a well mannered option to right the scenario? — BOTHERED & BEWILDERED IN BOSTON
DEAR B&B: It could be time to put up an indication in your oven or range advising guests (beloved or not) that you don’t want your home equipment tampered with when you find yourself getting ready to entertain. Whoever has been doing that is extraordinarily presumptuous as a result of it may probably damage the complete meal.
— Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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