Final yr, the nonprofit the place I work went from requiring staff to come back into the workplace twice a month to 3 occasions every week. I used to be grumpy in regards to the change. It’s not that I don’t just like the individuals I work with. I genuinely do. It’s simply that, notably at rush hour, I’m not such a fan of the 101 and the 405 or the alternate canyon routes. On high of that, I’ve an elevator phobia, and our West L.A. workplace is on the ninth flooring. (Props to the type and fantastic safety guard who rides up with me most mornings.) However good issues come to those that return to the workplace, along with camaraderie and free snacks. We’ll name him J.
A couple of months in the past, some new tenants moved into the workplace simply off the elevator financial institution on our flooring. It gave the impression to be an workplace of younger guys, so a lot of them, however too younger for me. Lots of them didn’t look a lot older than my 19-year-old son.
Then in the future I noticed J ready for an elevator. I used to be simply passing via. However I favored what I noticed: a robust jawline, just a little scruff, broad shoulders and the unmistakable curve of biceps below his shirt. J was older than the youthful dudes. There was one other factor. Within the nook of my eye, I might inform that he was checking me out too as I walked away. I get that not each lady welcomes this sort of consideration. However a number of years post-divorce, I’m capital-S single. I favored the sensation, a minimum of on this case.
I noticed J in passing a pair extra occasions. He appeared pleasant, however I’m not the perfect at choosing up or placing out these type of vibes: the “I’d wish to get to know you higher” ones. I’m undecided what the straight equal of gaydar is — “straightdar” simply doesn’t have the identical ring — however I’m fairly certain I don’t have it.
Then in the future, as I used to be heading again to my workplace with my senior canine, Loki, who involves work with me, I ran into J. I don’t recall precisely what he stated. However he was tremendous candy to my pup. He knelt all the way down to pet him. A man who’s cute, employed and good to my canine? I’m not saying that’s essentially the holy triumvirate. However it’s fairly good. Who was this man? I wished to know his title. As a result of most places of work in our constructing, together with J’s, have a plaque outdoors with the enterprise title, this hardly required complicated detective work. I discovered him instantly on LinkedIn. I used to be glad to have a reputation. I had no additional plans.
A day or two later, late at evening, previous my traditional bedtime and, apparently, previous the hour of my inhibitions, feeling like I had nothing to lose however my pleasure, I made a decision to do one thing out of character: See if I might get a message to J. I went again on LinkedIn and found I might ship him precisely one message, despite the fact that we’ve got no connections in frequent. (With no reply from the recipient, LinkedIn knowledgeable me, my message would principally be DOA.)
My topic line: Daring Query. My message: “Hello. I work on the identical flooring as you. I’m the lady with loopy curly hair. Do you wish to go on a stroll or get espresso or a drink someday? I’m not within the behavior of doing this however you’re cute and appear good. If you’re not single, I hope you’ll settle for the compliments and disrespect the remainder. Leslee”
I hit ship and instantly had two distinct reactions. One was the equal of “You go, woman!” The opposite was sheer horror. What had I accomplished? What was I pondering? I pictured him opening the message in his workplace and studying it out loud to the gaggle of 20-something colleagues. They’d all know precisely who I used to be, every one among them. It wasn’t precisely a Hester Prynne scenario. Nonetheless.
A day handed and not using a response, and I got here up with a brand new state of affairs to fret about — a specialty of mine. How would I do know if he received my message? The dearth of a response meant one among two issues: He hadn’t gotten the message in any respect or he had gotten it and selected to disregard it. I wished some assurance in opposition to the primary chance. However even when I might work out a solution to ship him a follow-up message — or horror of horrors — had been pressured to ask him in individual if he had acquired my message and, actually, he had gotten it however was detached, then I would appear much more silly.
However that’s not what occurred. As a substitute, the following morning, I acquired a brief and flirtatious however completely acceptable message from J on LinkedIn.
From there, we began texting. “Good morning Leslee. That is J from the ninth flooring. How are you this AM?” it started. A couple of days later, we met up at Teaspoon, one of many many boba spots on Sawtelle Boulevard.
Towards the tip of our time collectively, he put his elbow on the desk and raised his open palm. I believed perhaps he was difficult me to arm wrestle. Did he know I used to beat all of the boys in elementary college? He requested me to place my palm to his. He made certain I used to be OK with it. I didn’t hesitate. It felt good.
As a result of each of us desire to maintain our work and private lives separate, neither of us essentially needs our co-workers to find out about this, no matter that is, which has made for some exhilarating and humorous moments. There’s a shared understanding between me and J that this isn’t a happily-ever-after story, nevertheless it’s been actually enjoyable. I’m glad I made a decision to go for it — in my very own restrained approach. As J wrote in his LinkedIn response to me, “Fortune favors the daring.”
The creator is a Los Angeles native and mother to 2 youngsters. She lives in Sherman Oaks.
L.A. Affairs chronicles the seek for romantic love in all its wonderful expressions within the L.A. space, and we wish to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a broadcast essay. E mail LAAffairs@latimes.com. Yow will discover submission tips right here. Yow will discover previous columns right here.
