Yuvelis Natalia Morales Blanco, a Colombian environmental advocate, obtained her first dying menace at 19. Now 23, Morales Blanco, the general public face of the nation’s youth-led struggle towards fracking, finds herself at a vital intersection: Not solely does she dwell within the most harmful nation on this planet to be an environmental chief, but in addition, in response to a 2021 international survey, she belongs to an age group disproportionately affected by the psychological burdens of the local weather disaster — a disaster that, in flip, will hit rural communities within the International South like hers the toughest.
Colombia has been embroiled in a fierce debate over the way forward for fossil gasoline extraction, particularly whether or not to make the most of fracking or hydraulic fracturing, the method of injecting a high-pressure liquid into rocks to extract oil or gasoline. In 2019, then-President Iván Duque introduced 4 pilot tasks to find out fracking’s viability on a big scale — two of which had been slated for Morales Blanco’s hometown, Puerto Wilches, a small neighborhood within the nation’s northeast nook on the banks of the Magdalena River. Makes an attempt to ban the follow have failed in Congress, and though the tasks are at a brief standstill, they may restart if political winds shift within the 2026 presidential election.
In an interview, Morales Blanco, the daughter of a fisherman, particulars her struggle to cease fracking in Puerto Wilches and nationwide, her struggles with psychological well being following years of persistent threats and violence, and the dearth of recognition and institutional assist obtainable to environmental leaders.
This primary-hand account consists of graphic references to violence and self-harm. The interview has been edited for size and readability.
In 2019, a bunch of native children, faculty college students, got here and invited [my friends and me] to a gathering. Within the eyes of everybody else on the town, they had been social outcasts. A neighborhood chief informed me, “Yuve, don’t go. Take into consideration your mom… it’s harmful.”
I didn’t go, however I noticed footage of the occasion and so they had indicators that learn, “Say No to Fracking.” Fracking? I had no concept. Then, my Fb homepage began filling with stuff about it and a bunch referred to as Fracking Free Colombia Alliance began calling for conferences. I began going as a result of I needed to grasp. It touched on all the pieces I’ve at all times cared about — defending our biodiversity, our river, and our city.
We had been leaving after the second or third assembly, and a person and girl handed by. They noticed we had been actually completely satisfied, filled with vitality, and so they informed us, “You’re gonna get yourselves killed.” Our mindset modified. It wasn’t a playful factor anymore. I’m from a city the place persons are killed, and so they tally the numbers. The concept of us being little heroes [by being activists, by stopping fracking] crumbled from then on.
Doing this work, I found talents in myself that I didn’t know I had — management, instantaneous planning, being resourceful. Issues that begin to awaken in you, I suppose, and I mentioned, “That is it.” That’s how Agua Wil, the youth motion towards fracking in Puerto Wilches, was born.
We began doing door-to-door promotion, going to all of the neighborhoods, and speaking to everybody. It was two weeks of just about no sleep. There was by no means a second of unhappiness as a result of there was a really stunning sentiment, as if of fraternity, very “veintejulístico” [a reference to Colombia’s independence day on July 20], very of “this homeland that’s ours!”
The mayor began to name us for conferences. Then the ombudsman requested us what we had been doing and referred to as us “ troublemakers.” Rallies started to happen at Ecopetrol, the state oil firm proposing the fracking undertaking. At first, I stored my mother and father out of it, however one time, my mother informed me, “You’re not going to those issues anymore. I don’t need you to get killed.”
Due to this, we thought, “Nobody’s gonna come to the march.” Who would stroll with somebody tagged a “guerrilla insurgent” in a paramilitary city? However the day got here, and as I’m arriving, the bike is popping onto the park, I see a crowd. Tears began streaming down my face. We had been simply children who opposed Ecopetrol and ExxonMobil.
The parade was immense. Individuals got here from throughout — from cities like Bucaramanga and Barrancabermeja, from universities, these towards fracking within the mountain city of Cajamarca within the páramo, and those that opposed it within the close by city of San Martín. Nationwide and worldwide media had been there. It was December, so we reworked Christmas carols into protest songs. It was the harmless starting.
On December 24, at midnight, the federal government and Ecopetrol nonetheless signed the contracts for the fracking pilot tasks. It was such a downfall. In Congress, they realized what had occurred and we bought an e mail that mentioned, “Dr. Yuvelis, you’re invited to affix the general public listening to on fracking.” My pals from Agua Wil informed me, “You’re the one who has to do it. Individuals establish with you, and also you converse so superbly.”
The listening to was January 29, 2021. I used to be nervous. There isn’t any web at my home, so I went to a pal’s. I had such a crappy connection that I couldn’t activate the digicam. They launched me as “Dr. Yuvelis Natalia…” and the very first thing I mentioned was, “Initially, I’m not a health care provider” — I went in with irreverence from minute-one — and I began speaking. I mentioned that although we [Puerto Wilches] had been an oil-producing city for greater than 70 years, we didn’t have a high quality schooling system, we didn’t have an honest hospital. Public security was nonexistent. We had been a city bringing wealth to a whole nation that turned a blind eye to us. Then, in the long run, I mentioned: “Centuries in the past, you got here, you traded us a mirror, and we gave you all of the wealth. In the present day, that gold is water, and we’re not going to offer it up for little mirrors.” For higher or for worse, all people began to speak about it — that they had by no means had one of these testimony from Wilches, a lot much less from a girl, a lot much less from a younger girl, a lot much less from a Black girl.
Threats started that very same day.
At night time, round 9 or 10, I used to be at dwelling watching TV and consuming one thing. My mother was at work. It was solely my little sister and me. I lived on a foremost avenue, so there was at all times lots of visitors. I heard a motorbike cease in entrance of our dwelling. I used to be sitting on a rocking chair with my legs up, when all of a sudden I noticed a person standing subsequent to me. I stood up immediately. My hair was tremendous lengthy, and he stroked it and mentioned, “You’re very fairly. It will be a disgrace if one thing had been to occur to you. Cease fucking round with that fracking stuff as a result of we are going to kill you.”
It occurred within the blink of a watch, however to me, it lasted for hours. I felt very abused. They’d touched me, that they had invaded my house, that they had entered my home.
After I made positive my sister was okay, I locked the entrance door. I laid her down subsequent to me. I didn’t sleep that night time. When daybreak broke, I began crying. I wrote Héctor, a member of the Alliance and a part of a human rights group referred to as Credhos. He mentioned, “Inform the remainder of the group.” They mentioned, “Go to Barrancabermeja [the nearest city], and file a police report.”
My mother requested the place I used to be going. I by no means informed her. Once I arrived at Credhos (Corporación Regional Para La Defensa De Los Derechos Humanos), the very first thing Iván, its president, did was to carry me. He mentioned, “All the things can be alright.” It was as if I had a brooch, and it had been unfastened. I began crying. The tears simply got here out. I mentioned nothing. They gave me water. They hugged me. I mentioned I used to be going again to Wilches. “Keep. What are you in search of there?,” they requested. “If you happen to go away, we received’t have the ability to defend you. You’ll be alone.” I used to be like, “I don’t care.”
Violence towards us bought worse.
They might name me, telling me to cease speaking about fracking. Nevertheless it wasn’t simply me, additionally they referred to as the others.
One time, somebody was about handy me a soda and made a gun signal to me.
They might go to my home.
I used to be on a motorbike with a pal, and they’d chase us.
One other day, we had been checking the areas for the fracking pilot tasks when a white pickup truck with out license plates handed by us. They informed us, “They will kill you and solely vultures will discover you.”
A pal of mine bought married. On the marriage ceremony, she informed me, “Yuvelis, we didn’t invite these guys over there. I assumed they had been with you as a result of they’ve been taking a look at you for some time.”
The Yuvelis I had been earlier than went to shit as a result of I turned very fearful. I might not exit. I didn’t even know who I used to be amidst the worry of persecution and the looming menace that I used to be going to be killed after I had simply turned 20. I began to get an itch, a scratch. My pores and skin began to turn out to be blotchy. My interval additionally modified, all of a sudden I’d have hemorrhages.
On high of all the pieces, my mother didn’t find out about any of it. She came upon when somebody informed her, “I heard your daughter is underneath dying menace.” My mom mentioned to me, “Yuvelis, is it true?” She began crying. I informed her, “Sure, mommy.” And she or he mentioned, “You see, Yuvelis, I informed you.” That was the saddest factor: I felt responsible, although I used to be the sufferer. She informed me, “You aren’t going to remain right here as a result of, sooner or later, they are going to kill you and kill all of us.”
The Alliance purchased me a bus ticket, and I went to Bogotá, the capital of Colombia. The ticket didn’t even have my identify on it.
A pal provided me shelter in La Perseverancia neighborhood. He informed me, “Simply take a cab and go to this tackle.” A cab? In Wilches, you simply take a motorbike otherwise you stroll. I used to be so scared, I didn’t know the place I used to be. I used to be terribly chilly. I didn’t personal any cold-weather garments. I arrived at daybreak, and he hugged me. I didn’t discuss. He gave me a ruana [a cold-weather poncho] and laid me down in a sleeping bag on a settee. I fell asleep.
I felt defeated. For me, melancholy and anxiousness consider my fingertips. I began tearing the pores and skin off my fingers. It was a time of my life marked by extremes: I wouldn’t cry in any respect, after which I’d cry so much. I began consuming like an animal, then I wouldn’t eat in any respect. I bought COVID. I fought for all times, however for the lives of others, not my very own.
Once I was hospitalized, it was a actuality examine: I spotted individuals had been mendacity on the bottom, chilly, with out blankets, crowded collectively [in the hospital corridors]. I mentioned, “I’m not coming again right here.”
A community of individuals prepared to be there shaped round me. I used to be very cared for, very supported, very understood within the midst of the crying, the screaming, the silences, and the sudden uncontrollable urge to speak. They had been prepared to take a seat down and watch me cry, to cook dinner for me. Individuals who had no clue how one can dance organized dancing events as a result of they knew I beloved it. No matter it took to spark a light-weight in me.
Regardless of all of the trauma and the psychological shock I used to be experiencing, there was one thing I by no means stopped doing, and it saved my life: Speaking. I felt the necessity to inform the world that their extractive realities had been costing me my life. I began saying that preventing for all times in Colombia takes away your personal. Quickly, there have been individuals who started sharing with me about their very own struggles looking for assist.
Little by little, in 2021, I returned to Wilches. I spotted all my pals had moved on [with their lives], however the life I had constructed wasn’t mine anymore, it belonged to the anti-fracking motion, to the general public scorn, to everybody however me.
We by no means stopped working. The federal government was more and more saying, “We are going to do fracking — and that’s it.” We talked again, “You’ll should kill us then.” In January 2022, the dates of the ANLA [National Environmental Licensing Agency] visits to grant the environmental permits to the pilot tasks had been introduced. We began to prepare like loopy.
In the future, earlier than an vital assembly on the metropolis council, two guys with navy garb got here to my home and informed me: “You already know: We’re going to kill you.”
I turned a rock. I had constructed inside me a determine that had fractured into two sides: the militant and the private. My high-functioning half has at all times been the militant. She was at all times there, dedicated. Everybody was anticipating me to say, “I don’t need to be right here anymore.” However I by no means did; I stored enthusiastic about how I left working the yr earlier than.
Nevertheless it was all a lie. Inside, I used to be useless, wanting the Earth to swallow me and spit me some place else.
One night time, we went to dinner with the Unión Sindical Obrera (Nationwide Labor Union). They informed me, “We’re not well-known for being cussed and ready to be killed. We’re well-known as a result of when it’s our flip to go away, we go away and proceed preventing from some place else.” With that got here the proposal to turn out to be a part of a corporation with a collective safety scheme as a result of Agua Wil was by no means given one by the federal government.
In the future, I used to be going dwelling to get some garments for a listening to. Abruptly, the bodyguards come into my dwelling, seize my arm, and throw me into our van. We’re on the nook when my mother calls and mentioned, “Natalia, the place are you? Two armed males simply got here in right here asking for you.”
The bodyguards informed me to twist up and so they began placing on my bulletproof vest. They began calling the police, however the Wilches police by no means answered. We had been alone. We began to go in circles round city, making an attempt to shake them off. At one level, I assumed: I hope they kill us shortly. I hope they shoot me within the head as a result of I don’t need to endure. That thought nonetheless haunts me. I simply needed all the pieces to cease. I needed these round me to cease being afraid and escaping every time they had been round me. I needed to cease placing different lives in danger.
After that, the Alliance talked to the French Embassy. They informed me, “You would not have a safety scheme. Your home is made from wooden planks. The federal government did nothing, and isn’t going to do something, as a result of the president needs fracking to be finished, and at this time you stand towards fracking in Colombia. They will kill you. You might be leaving. You’ll France.”
We left the subsequent morning at about 4 a.m.; it was nonetheless darkish. The bodyguards went into the airport with weapons and didn’t go away me alone till I bought on the airplane to Bogotá. On the airplane, I used to be obtained by different safety escorts and in Bogotá, by the embassy escorts. They took me to a gathering with the French ambassador to Colombia, and he informed me, “We admire you, we’ll defend you, and also you’ll have all the pieces in France, so don’t fear.”
We landed, and all the pieces appeared inhospitable. There was no solar. A bunch of individuals had been ready for me with indicators with my identify on them. Leaving the airport, they had been speaking to me, all excited. And I simply appeared out the window in any respect the useless bushes. They requested, “Are you content?” And I mentioned, “No.” I didn’t discuss to them in any respect. And so they understood. I simply needed to relaxation.
All that yr was like a fog. It was the golden dream: You might have an condo, you have got a scholarship, you may journey to different nations, however I felt misunderstood — due to the language and due to all the pieces I had gone by to get there. I had nobody to speak to. I started to demand psychological counseling as a result of I used to be in very unhealthy form. So that they appeared for somebody, however that individual spoke Portuguese, not Spanish. He didn’t perceive something; it was terrible and solely made me really feel worse. I survived as a result of I discovered others in exile. However I at all times mentioned I needed to return, regardless of how, I needed to return dwelling. I didn’t have any closure. My work was unfinished, and due to that, I used to be additionally unfinished. I didn’t have the prospect to say goodbye to my mother, my sisters and brothers, or my dad. I didn’t have the prospect to say goodbye to the river. My life wasn’t mine anymore, and I needed it to be. I got here again to Colombia in December 2022.
Breaking down so many instances has helped me rebuild myself in a thousand methods. I made a decision to take a stand, to be robust, but in addition to have a tender coronary heart, which is typically what many militants lose: empathy in the direction of their very own lives.
I made a decision that the militant half and the opposite half must be one. I’m Yuvelis Natalia Morales Blanco, the militant towards fracking who feels so much, suffers so much, loves so much, and may stand for one thing — and for herself.
Editor’s be aware: If you happen to or somebody could also be contemplating suicide, contact the 988 Suicide & Disaster Lifeline by calling or texting 9-8-8, or the Disaster Textual content Line by texting HOME to 741741.