Park In-soon can always remember August 2009. That was the month her son ended his life at 23 years previous.
Her son had been scuffling with melancholy, however he had informed her that he was feeling higher. However two months after he stopped taking his treatment, he took his personal life.
For Park, the information of his demise felt like receiving a life sentence. She couldn’t sleep. All she needed was to comply with him in demise.
A number of weeks later, she acquired right into a automobile accident, whereas driving house from a dawn service at church. Simply as she was about to hit a tree on the aspect of the street, she managed to steer herself to security. Her automobile was wrecked, however she was spared from critical accidents.
“If I had died within the accident, folks would have thought that I did that on function. As a result of my solely hope (at the moment) was to die,” she stated in an interview.
“However, in the intervening time of affect, my intuition led me to guard myself. I spotted that deep down, I needed to stay.”
Though she stopped desirous about demise, the ache didn’t go away.
It was solely the summer time subsequent 12 months that she began on a journey to restoration.
She joined a restoration program for households who had misplaced family members to suicide, organized by LifeLine Korea, the one program of its sort in South Korea. LifeLine is a world community of organizations offering 24-hour disaster assist and suicide prevention providers. Its work in Korea is financially supported by the Life Insurance coverage Philanthropy Basis.
There, she met others who had skilled related ache, discovered solace amongst them and commenced to regain energy to stay on.
“Although all of us had completely different backgrounds, we shared one frequent expertise: the lack of a beloved member of the family. We clung collectively to beat the grief,” she stated.
At first, she discovered consolation within the assist group conferences. Over time, she step by step remodeled into somebody who affords consolation to others.
Park started receiving specialised coaching to turn into a LifeLine counselor, and, in 2011, began volunteering for the 1588-9191 hotline. She furthered her schooling to qualify for a place at Han River disaster hotlines. Since 2015, she has been offering counseling to distressed people who name from emergency telephones put in on the bridges, which was among the many most suicide-prone areas.
The Han River hotline service is a job with modest pay and a grueling work schedule.
Park stays up each Monday and Thursday night time, on standby for any incoming calls from 6 p.m. to 9 a.m. the next day. Each third week, she additionally works on Friday night time.
When the telephone rings, Park feels a surge of tension inside, even worry. For a short second earlier than answering it, she prays to God, “Even my life is in a pitiful state, how can I probably counsel anybody? Please give me knowledge.”
At some point, a name got here from one of many Han River bridges. On the road was an 18-year-old college dropout, a woman. She stated she took subway from Incheon, with no cash to get again house. It was late November, and the chilly was biting.
Over the telephone, the determined woman stated her life was a failure and she or he noticed no future forward. She felt that nobody, not even her household, cared about her and confirmed her any empathy.
At the beginning of the telephone dialog, Park had alerted emergency responders. Whereas listening fastidiously and attempting to consolation the woman, she observed the woman’s fondness for animals. Park cautiously urged that there was a future for somebody like her who genuinely cares about animals, resembling animal-related jobs. Park stated that her recommendation appeared to assist.
Park shared one other name, which got here through the 1588-9191 hotline. The caller, a person in his 30s, was on the rooftop of his condominium constructing, considering a bounce.
He stated his life was depressing and crammed with ache. His mother and father, with whom he lived, have been asleep at house.
Park’s solely thought was to steer him to maneuver to a secure place. The climate was very chilly, however the man appeared oblivious to it, overwhelmed by despair. She urged him to maneuver to a hotter place to proceed their dialog.
“For somebody in disaster, it is very important change their atmosphere to stop them from performing impulsively,” she stated. “In the event that they step away from the impulsive scenario, they may give themselves time to rethink ideas of suicide.”
Hotline counselors collaborate carefully with the police and fireplace division rescue groups. Whether or not or not a caller has tried suicide isn’t routinely shared, however counselors can discover out in the event that they select to.
Years of counseling made her understand that those that take into consideration ending their lives are those who’ve lived their lives to the fullest. Whereas they spend all of their power, they neglect themselves, resulting in burnt out and melancholy. They nonetheless maintain themselves to very strict normal and in the event that they fail to satisfy, they really feel immense disgrace, she stated.
“I need them to not reproach themselves and to keep in mind that they labored arduous and did their finest.”
By her involvement locally with different bereaved households and her counseling work on the disaster hotline, Park’s values have considerably modified.
“I used to assume that saving cash, transferring to a much bigger house and attaining success have been what made life priceless,” she stated. “However now, I consider that saving lives, comforting grieving folks and serving to them overcome their sorrow are much more priceless.”
When requested about what she would have stated to her personal son, if he had referred to as the hotline, Park paused for some time and at last stated, “(I’d inform him that) I’d be actually glad if we may each keep sturdy and stay collectively.”