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DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I are each in our mid-50s. Resulting from a medical difficulty she has, we hardly ever have intercourse. I don’t actually give it some thought fairly often anymore. In the meantime, I’ve a good friend, “Edie.” Now we have been pals for a great few years now. I met her in my facet job as a handyman. She’s in her 80s. My spouse has met Edie and calls her my “girlfriend” in a joking method, a minimum of I believe so. Once in a while, Edie would drop little sexual remarks, which, at first, I by no means seen. Once I acknowledged them, I by no means actually thought a lot about them.
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In the future just lately, Edie was having a foul day and was crying about eager to really feel alive. One factor led to a different, and we wound up having intercourse. Now she has “woke up” and all the time desires to have interaction in intercourse after I see her. Till now, I by no means cheated on my spouse in all of the years we’ve been married, and it weighs on my thoughts closely.
I like my spouse and don’t need to lose her or the connection we’ve. I additionally don’t need to wreck the connection I’ve with Edie, if that’s attainable, who’s only a good good friend and nothing extra. Edie’s well being is beginning to get a little bit sensitive and, per her household historical past, she is going to dwell just a few extra years. She doesn’t actually have many pals or household to spend time together with her.
Can I maintain my spouse and my friendship with Edie? Please give me some good recommendation as I wrestle with what to do. — GOOD HUSBAND AND FRIEND
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DEAR HUSBAND/FRIEND: Get up! I’ve information for you. Because you began servicing Edie, she has change into one thing aside from a “good good friend,” and you’ve got change into in a way her boy toy. If you happen to love your spouse, cease the burgeoning affair now earlier than it blows uncontrolled and your spouse finds out. If you happen to permit this to proceed, your spouse shall be damage, and chances are high good that your marriage shall be destroyed.
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DEAR ABBY: My 28-year-old son was killed by a semi in a hit-and-run. We didn’t discover out for weeks till he was recognized by fingerprints. My husband and I had been trustworthy members of a church congregation. Many instances, I used to be in control of the nursery. For 3 months previous to the accident, I had been conserving a baby for a church member at no cost as a result of her dad was sick with most cancers.
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When my son was killed, Abby, not one particular person despatched a casserole and even referred to as me. After all, I didn’t go to church for a pair weeks. However nobody, together with the preacher, reached out! Since then, I not attend that exact congregation. Am I anticipating an excessive amount of? — SO HURT IN THE SOUTH
DEAR SO HURT: Please settle for my sympathy for the tragic lack of your son. As an lively member of that congregation, you anticipated extra of a response than common silence. Multiple particular person dropped the ball after your tragedy, and below the circumstances, your damage is pure. You probably did the suitable factor by altering church buildings, and I hope you might be receiving emotional assist from the brand new congregation you’ve gotten joined.
— Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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