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DEAR ABBY: A 12 months in the past, I met a beautiful man on a cruise. We hit it off fabulously, and since we dwell 1,000 miles aside, we keep in contact primarily by telephone — speaking and video chatting. He has come to go to me 4 occasions up to now 12 months, and we’ve got taken two journeys collectively. He has met my associates and neighbours and has spoken to my household on the telephone (they dwell in a special state than I do). He says he loves me and that I’m the lady he’s regarded for his whole life.
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The issue is, I’ve by no means been invited to go to him. After I requested why, he informed me his daughters, who’re of their 20s and dwell at residence, in addition to his siblings are against him courting and need him to reunite together with his ex. (He has been divorced for 3 years.) That’s regarding sufficient, however I’ve by no means spoken to any of his associates on the telephone, both.
One thing smells fishy. It appears like both I’m nothing greater than a “aspect piece,” or maybe he’s ashamed of me and doesn’t need me to satisfy or discuss to anybody he is aware of. Or perhaps he’s not divorced in any case. I don’t wish to waste treasured time on one thing that isn’t going to go anyplace. Are my expectations too nice, or am I an fool for permitting this to go on so long as I’ve? — FEELING FOOLISH IN FLORIDA
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DEAR FEELING FOOLISH: I don’t blame you for caring. If, after a 12 months of being “courted,” you continue to haven’t been launched to this glorious man’s associates or household, one thing doesn’t add up. Both the person is spineless, or he hasn’t been upfront with you about his circumstances.
Should you can’t persuade him to face up for himself and clarify to his family that he has moved on from his divorce — AND you possibly can management your feelings — pay him a shock go to. If he has been stringing you alongside, he deserves to be outed.
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DEAR ABBY: I grew up poor. Due to that, I spoiled my daughter rotten. I gave her the whole lot, however it has backfired. When she turned 16, my husband and I purchased her a brand-new $70,000 BMW. I informed him I didn’t need my daughter to be with out something like I used to be. She didn’t need the $70,000 BMW; she wished the $100,000 one. My husband stated it was past his price range.
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When my daughter acquired her automobile, she wasn’t blissful. She kicked the automobile and dented it as a result of it wasn’t the one she wished. My husband took it to a physique store and paid to have it fastened. She says that when it will get out of the physique store, she goes to kick it once more after which will probably be even worse.
I do know what you suppose I ought to do. But when I take it away and disown her, she’s going to drop out of faculty, and her life can be ruined. I do know that I’m 100% within the improper. I simply need assistance, and hopefully, you’ll have a solution that’s totally different than everybody else’s. Please assist me with one other suggestion. — AT MY WITS’ END
DEAR AT MY WITS’: Gladly! When your ungrateful daughter once more damages the automobile you so generously gave her, DO NOT FIX IT. As an alternative, let her drive it “as is” and let her expertise the implications of what she has accomplished. Should you do, you may be giving her a present way more precious than the value of the car. Higher late than by no means.
— Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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