When the hell was somebody gonna inform me it’s “Biketober?”
It’s unhealthy sufficient no one advised me that the Rev-X was again.
I significantly like how the information man lets his private biases slip in, and that he’s clearly incensed by all of the riders who aren’t utilizing helmets and lights and are subsequently chargeable for their very own deaths.
I imply everyone knows the rationale bike deaths are up is due to e-bikes:
Or am I?
Both method, I went to the DOT web site to study extra about this entire “Biket Ober” factor, which appears like a Jewish vacation:
You already know, there’s nothing extra annoying than individuals who remind you they’re taxpayers, however I’M A TAXPAYER, DAMN IT! And whereas most of my fellow taxpayers-who-gratuitously-remind-you-that-they’re-taxpayers are complaining about how they’re spending all our cash on illegals or gender reassignment surgical procedure for toddlers or instructing Essential Race Idea to pets or no matter, what I’d actually wish to know is how a lot cash we’ve thrown away thus far by giving freely 300,000 freaking bicycle helmets. No matter what you could consider bike helmets, what sort of sign does that ship? Does this sound like a metropolis that’s assured within the security of its its bicycling infrastructure? I’m certain I’m repeating myself, however that’s like a restaurant that arms out barf baggage.
Whereas I’m at it, I’d additionally wish to query the “Supply Employee Outreach”–nothing in any respect in opposition to supply employees, or reaching out to them, however ought to it actually be a part of Biket Ober? It looks as if this must be a stand-alone factor, since “bicycle” supply has developed into one thing that not bears a lot resemblance to common bicycling; actually, a lot of supply individuals aren’t even using bicycles in any respect, they’re using gas-powered motor scooters. So why not simply give them their very own month already? I just like the sound of “Deliveryvember,” it rolls off the tongue like a supply bike off the curb.
In fact, there was as soon as a time when bicycle supply conjured up photographs of city outlaws on racing bikes carving via visitors:
Now it seems extra like this:
And as a substitute of sporting a sequence round your waist and thumbing your nostril on the company world you’re working for the enterprise capitalists and wrestling along with your key fob:
However that’s not stopping individuals from paying homage to the romantic picture of the now-extinct bicycle messenger:
And interesting in competitors that has nothing to do with delivering something, like pulling off actually lengthy skids:
[Like what does skidding have to do with delivering stuff? Is it what you do when you realize you just overshot the address?]
Or modeling their hairstyles:
Mockingly, the picture of the bike courier has seems nothing like “bicycle” supply in 2024, however bike courier trend and workplace trend have completely converged to the purpose the place they’re now indistinguishable, and when you see somebody who seems like a motorbike courier at the moment there’s a 99% probability they’re on their technique to their job in an previous warehouse district that’s been reworked right into a tech hub:
[Outlaw office bro working on his TPS reports]
Then once more, using to work as a substitute of for work doesn’t seem like using a bicycle anymore, both:
I suppose that is what getting previous looks like.
