Simplicity.
A path:
A motorbike:
A gear, or possibly two:
What extra do you want?*
*[In my case you also need like eight other bikes, but I’m going to keep acting all self-righteous about my phony commitment to simplicity anyway.]
Effectively, it seems you want loads. I just lately joked about “needing a dropper submit on your dropper submit’s dropper submit,” however little did I understand how shut we had been, for a reader has alerted me to the existence of this:
It’s referred to as the SwitchGrade, and it’ll “unlock the complete potential of your dropper seatpost:”
How does it do that? By letting you modify your saddle angle relying on the terrain. Right here’s a rider in abject distress as a result of he couldn’t angle his saddle down earlier than the massive climb:
See how the nostril of his saddle goes proper up his ass in consequence?
Ouch!
Now right here’s a rider who may optimize his saddle angle due to the miracle of SwitchGrade:
It nonetheless goes up his ass, however as a substitute of violating him roughly it gently massages his prostate:
Ahhh, that’s higher.
Simply ask Josh Harris, mountain biker and physician of proctology:
Hey, I’m not anti-tech or anti-capitalism. Fairly the alternative–we’re very lucky to reside in a society by which folks have the posh of buying a $255 seatpost head:
Certainly, whether or not it’s bike elements, or prostate massagers, or just about any luxurious merchandise you may consider, the array of what’s obtainable to us at present on the push of a digital button is really dazzling, and a reminder that we’re much better off than any people who’ve come earlier than us.
[Intern: insert affiliate link for prostate massager above, no pun intended.]
Nonetheless, philosophically talking, I have to query what it’s precisely we’re doing right here. How a lot of the bike has to maneuver, precisely? At what level do you cease adapting the bike to swimsuit the terrain and easily settle for it for what it’s? And at what level does this contraptions stop to be a motorbike? First the bike was too inflexible, and we made it so the entrance wheel may go up and down. Then that made us understand that the again wheel didn’t go up and down too, so we solved that too. Subsequent got here the seat, which we arrange so it may telescope. (Sure, I’m willfully omitting the Hite Ceremony right here.) However what good is that in the event you can’t additionally change your saddle angle? This in flip will solely make it essential to invent a tool that enables on-the-fly handlebar angle adjustment, and width adjustment, and finally you’ll even have the ability to change your tire stress whilst you’re using. (Oh wait, that’s already a factor.) And that’s not even addressing motors! I nightmares in regards to the types of battery-powered articulating monstrosities our descendants will in the future be using.
I consider that, as a species, humanity ought to by no means resign itself to its destiny. We should always proceed to evolve and to innovate. Certainly, our innate urge to push and to discover and to transcend is the very essence of what it means to be human, and we should always at all times attempt to defy our limitations.
Nevertheless, I additionally consider that as cyclists we should always do the precise reverse. For chrissakes, simply suck it up! Generally the path’s too bumpy. Generally the climb’s too onerous. Generally your saddle place isn’t totally optimum. How totally free from any kind of problem or adversity or minor inconvenience does your goddamn journey need to be?!?
Or nice, simply get the seatpost thingy, no matter works for you.
