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DEAR ABBY: My daughter, “Virginia,” age 27, lives together with her boyfriend, “Ray,” on the East Coast and teaches kindergarten. Final month, she confided that she had caught him dishonest. She noticed texts on his telephone. When she confronted him, Ray instantly confessed and was very apologetic, however he additionally saved the lady’s quantity in his telephone.
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Ray will quickly be transferring to a different state, and her job will finish in about three weeks. Virginia is severely contemplating going with him and has additionally talked about marriage. Her mom and I are divorced as a result of her mom’s infidelity, however we agree that we are going to counsel her not to stick with him. Though he took duty, dishonest is harmful in any severe relationship.
I’ve gone backwards and forwards with Virginia through e mail, however typically she stops speaking. I haven’t been harsh, however I did ask her why Ray would hold the opposite girl’s quantity except he wished to stay in touch together with her.
Are you able to consider anything a anxious dad can do to assist the scenario? Clearly, Virginia can ignore parental recommendation and do what she desires. I’m additionally questioning what I can say to Ray once I see him subsequent. I neither need to give him a go nor condemn him as a monster. — STRONG DAD IN CALIFORNIA
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DEAR DAD: Discuss together with your daughter, face-to-face if attainable. Inform her that, as an grownup, she will be able to do what she desires, however as a caring mother or father, you can not keep silent. Remind her that Ray KEPT THE OTHER WOMAN’S NUMBER, which suggests he intends in some unspecified time in the future to contact her. Clarify that, to you, this implies he’s much less dedicated to your daughter than he needs to be.
As to what you may say to Virginia’s boyfriend, inform him you’re disgusted by his selfishness and dishonesty, and he doesn’t deserve your daughter. When you’ve got any extra ideas on the topic you wish to share, be happy to air them.
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DEAR ABBY: What would you say a couple of man who supplied his spouse’s siblings an all-expense-paid journey to Paris, figuring out that his spouse couldn’t contemplate occurring such a visit due to mobility points?
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Full disclosure: The husband and spouse have been to Paris up to now (when the spouse’s well being was OK), however the husband feels the necessity to go once more and has nobody else to accompany him. His spouse shall be left residence alone to fend for herself. By some means, this complete deal leaves a foul style in my mouth. Please set me straight. — HOMEBODY IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR HOMEBODY: Individuals with bodily disabilities journey internationally on a regular basis. If the husband has the cash to take his spouse’s siblings on an all-expense paid journey to Paris, absolutely he might afford to take his spouse AND A CAREGIVER with him on that journey down reminiscence lane. That means, she could be sorted and nonetheless be capable to benefit from the journey to the diploma that she’s ready. Has nobody prompt it moreover me?
— Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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