DEAR ABBY: Man smitten with girl he is identified for years

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DEAR ABBY: I’ve been round “Kendra” since she was 4. I’m 59 and never married to her mom, though we’re good associates. Kendra is 36 now and has an 8-year-old son. She lives along with her boyfriend, who’s the daddy. They don’t seem to be married. Now we have an amazing relationship.

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For some purpose, over the previous 4 months, my emotions for Kendra have grown into an infatuation. I imply, I’ve at all times beloved her, however now I want I used to be along with her. I WANT to be along with her. My emotions are so sturdy, I might even marry her. I do know she loves me, however I doubt in the way in which I really like her now.

I don’t need to destroy what we’ve got, nevertheless it’s killing me that I can’t be along with her. I’ve jealous emotions like a child. I really like her very a lot and would by no means do something to harm her. I suppose I’m only a silly outdated man considering this fashion, however I can’t assist it. I can truthfully say I’m in love along with her. I’m confused about what I must do. — LOVING HER IN THE EAST

DEAR LOVING: What occurred 4 months in the past that modified your emotions about Kendra from the paternal ones you might have felt for the final 32 years? For those who specific to her the (lustful) emotions you’re harbouring, you’ll blow your complete household aside. An applicable place to look at your emotions could be within the workplace of a licensed psychotherapist. Please don’t wait.

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DEAR ABBY: My husband, “Jake,” tells his mom the place we plan to go and what we plan to do on our “date nights.” On a number of events, she has really proven up. She pretends to be shocked when she sees us, asking us “what we’re as much as.” She doesn’t attempt to sit with us or dangle round, thank goodness, however she’s there, watching and listening from a brief distance. She has by no means preferred me, and I think that is one other of her passive-aggressive methods to get underneath my pores and skin.

Our date nights are an lively effort to attempt to save our marriage. The primary time she confirmed up, I informed Jake I didn’t prefer it and that it higher not occur once more. He assured me it wouldn’t. I additionally requested him to cease telling her the place we’re going and what we’re going to do. He hasn’t accomplished that. He says he “can’t” inform his mom to depart as a result of it’s a public place, and she or he has each proper to be there, too. What ought to I do? — HAD IT IN OKLAHOMA

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DEAR HAD IT: For those who and Jake are critical about saving your marriage and never but in marriage counseling, begin speaking with a licensed marriage and household therapist NOW. Jake seems to be a person who can’t say no to his mom. Your MIL does have a proper to patronize any restaurant she pleases, however she shouldn’t be hovering over your shoulders. A therapist could possibly provide help to get that message throughout to your husband, whose priorities seem like skewed.

Within the meantime, YOU ought to take cost of your date nights. Make the reservations and inform nobody the place you’re going — even your husband.

— Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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