DEAR ABBY: Not way back, my husband changed the important thing entry lock on the entrance door of our home with a digital one.
Ever since, the door doesn’t latch once you go in or out. (It “bounces” and doesn’t catch.) I’ve instructed him it must be fastened, however he insists I have to “simply pull it.”
Abby, this door all the time latched earlier than. Employees come out and in of the home, and I’m very involved.
My husband is combating me tooth and nail on this for some odd purpose, and I’m prepared to depart him.
I instructed him I’ll get the door fastened (on his bank card) if he doesn’t do it. He nonetheless refuses. I’m carried out! I need a safe entrance door.
What the hell is incorrect right here? We’ve been married 40 years. Do you advocate a divorce lawyer?
— UNSAFE IN TEXAS
DEAR UNSAFE: I don’t advocate a divorce lawyer. You need to really feel protected in your personal dwelling.
Cease combating together with your husband, turn out to be proactive and get the darn door fastened. As a result of he received’t assist, bear in mind the adage, “If you need one thing carried out proper, do it your self,” then step ahead and take cost.
DEAR ABBY: Eight years in the past, my husband of 26 years had a stroke, and his persona modified.
He was troublesome to cope with, however, with time, his outdated persona got here again, and issues received higher.
Two years in the past, he lastly kicked a longtime prescription drug behavior. Our funds improved nearly in a single day (for which I’m grateful), however his persona modified once more.
This variation has been neither nice nor straightforward to cope with. Some days, he will get offended with me for speaking to him about even the best issues, like visitors or the climate.
Don’t get me incorrect — I don’t need him to return to abusing medicine, however I need my finest good friend again. For at the very least a 12 months now, I’ve been begging him to go to marriage counseling with me.
He says he’ll however has put no effort into discovering a counselor. He grew up within the small city we dwell in, so I need him to decide on the counselor as a result of I could by chance select somebody he is aware of and doesn’t need to discuss to.
I’m afraid he won’t ever make an appointment, so ought to I simply discover a counselor for myself? I don’t need to throw away 26 years of marriage, however some days, all I take into consideration is working away.
— SADDENED ON THE EAST COAST
DEAR SADDENED: I don’t know what might be the reason for your husband’s anger, and neither will you till you resolve it. Don’t permit the truth that he’s stalling forestall you from consulting a licensed marriage and household therapist.
Compile an inventory of counseling providers not solely in your city but additionally some neighboring communities. After you have the names, present the listing to your husband and ask if he is aware of any of them. Then make an appointment for each of you with a number of therapists and interview them.
If he refuses to accompany you, go by yourself.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.