Portland:
It was that you just heard about Portland on a regular basis–definitely within the bike world, because it was well-known for its excessive “bicycle mode share” (which simply means lots of people journey bikes to work) and burgeoning bike infrastructure and customized bike builders and irreverent cyclocross scene, but additionally within the in style tradition, because it grew to become synonymous with quirky folks and artisanal handicrafts and farm-to-table eating places and all the remainder of it. All of this culminated within the present “Portlandia,” which deftly despatched all of it up. Then folks form of moved on, both as a result of the town descended right into a progressive libtardian hellscape, or as a result of the remainder of the nation merely received bored of it, relying on who you ask.
Now a bicycle owner can go months and even years with out excited about Portland, although I used to be reminded of it just lately when all of the bike web sites and channels began cranking out MADE content material, MADE having taken place in Portland:
It was that the massive bike firms had been pushing the gimmicks and the customized builders upheld custom, however in recent times it looks as if there’s been one thing of an inversion and the customized builders’ way-out bikes make the mainstream bikes look tame as compared.
All of that is to say that after not excited about Portland for a very long time I just lately discovered myself excited about it once more, so I headed over to BikePortland to get the most recent information–and in scrolling the headlines I noticed they talked about the current New Yorker article about Outdated Man Petersen:
I had utterly forgotten that completely no one on this planet does aggrievement higher than Portlanders, so I used to be positively astounded to learn this within the feedback part, which can be one of many best cycling-related Web feedback ever composed:
So principally, not solely is Grant Petersen so omnipotent that he singlehandedly held again the adoption of know-how like carbon forks and disc brakes for years like Superman grabbing a getaway automotive by the bumper, however there’s truly an insidious cabal of motorbike retailers that refuse to work on such bikes–presumably as a result of they too concern the Wrath of Grant. In consequence, not solely have cyclists been denied these developments for a lot too lengthy, however now that they lastly have them they need to reside in concern of persecution by the hands of vengeful wool- and sandal-clad lugged metal cultists.
Certainly, rumor has it that those that dare disobey Petersen have their physique elements squeezed by long-reach brake calipers till they’ll not bear the ache. Which physique elements? Properly, try that beneficiant clearance and use your creativeness:
Both this commenter is an skilled troll or he has a low-normal mind, as a result of all of that is the precise reverse of actuality, and between this and the aforementioned customized bike inversion Portland is clearly the Bizarro World.
I used to be additionally delighted to seek out that I personally earned a point out on this searing indictment:
As somebody who hasn’t been related for at the least 10 years now (and that’s being charitable) this can be very heartening to see my title seem in each The New Yorker and the Bike Portland feedback inside the span of a fortnight.
Talking of motorbike retailers, issues aren’t trying so good for The Professional’s Closet:
There’s even a function about it on Escape Collective…which I admit I haven’t learn:
Although presumably it mentions how they’ve acquired roughly a gazillion {dollars} in enterprise capital funding over the previous few years:
And that for awhile they had been so flush they even purchased the Desert Hipster web site as a toy, which yielded an “unique gravel collaboration:”
They actually missed out by not calling it a Gravellaboration. I assume $40 million doesn’t purchase you the flexibility to identify an ideal alternative to mint an amusing new portmanteau.
Anyway, since apparently The Professional’s Closet is having a giant, huge sale, I regarded up a few of my favourite manufacturers to see if I’d get fortunate. Sadly they don’t appear to have any Rivendae:
Or any Y-Faunae:
And a seek for LeMond simply turned up a bunch of Treks:
Is {that a} good value for a Trek Emonda? I don’t even know:
As a semi-professional bike blogger and Outdated Crap Check Pilot who has unfettered entry to Traditional Cycle’s personal closet, I don’t have to fret about what stuff prices:
Although because of He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named I do have to use a long-reach brake caliper to an unmentionable a part of my anatomy each time I publish a photograph of a motorbike with a carbon fork.
Oh, and sure, I did attempt utilizing the chat function, however I received a bit tongue-tied:
Alas, there are not any bike retailers in my rapid neighborhood (“metal is actual” cultists or in any other case), however at the least we do have an AutoZone with a CitiBike rack:
This makes good sense–perhaps much more than a parking zone (which it additionally has) since definitely nearly each time I’ve been to AutoZone I’ve gotten there by bike as a result of one thing was fallacious with my automotive. And naturally if there’s one thing fallacious along with your automotive and also you do handle to limp in there’s even an on-site mechanic:
There are many insidious points of the so-called “automotive tradition,” however you’ve received to present it credit score for industriousness.
